One major change I’ve noticed since transitioning from dating life to married life is a shift in overall grooming, hygiene, physical fitness, daily affection, and service toward each other. Of course, my wife and I still shower, brush our teeth, and spend time together, but we’re far less prone to keep our breath fresh, our hair gelled, and to actively try to impress one another. Because the reward of sex is on a nearly regular schedule, the incentive to court each other is a diminished. I mean … our relationship is a given, right? We’ve already won each other’s love, right?
This tragic tendency is at the very roots of what leads to marital discontent, strife, faded affections, and ultimately divorce. If you want to maintain a healthy relationship, you must always be courting each other. At the bare minimum, the mandatory essentials include:
- Daily meaningful time together (watching TV doesn’t count)
- A weekly date night
- Regular sex
- Mutual engagement in something both of you are passionate about
Number four is especially important. Because, yes, you have won each other’s love, mere courting, while important, isn’t enough to make your relationship feel meaningful. Couples who have achieved oneness will no longer feel satisfied in just serving each other. Your love for each other will only continue to grow if you take that love and use it. For example, perhaps both of you are interested in environmental conservation. As the two of you get your hands muddy in cleaning up a damaged ecosystem or helping endangered animals, there will inevitably be a moment when the two of you will happen to glance at each other, seeing your love in action … your powerful bond … your collective force for good … that beaming joy that brought the two of you together in the first place, and voila, the next thing you know, you’ll be dying to tear off each other’s clothes.