I don’t have a perfect formula for great sex, but I know a sure WAY not to go about it. When it’s late at night, you’re already in bed, and your husband leans over and starts caressing you, it’s obvious what he wants, and even though you’re not in the mood, you want it too, more or less, so you dutifully return the caresses. Eventually clothes are removed, and the action intensifies. He’s hard, of course, though he’s baffled to discover that you’re still completely dry. Nonetheless, he applies some lubricant to you and attempts to manually warm you up. Everything feels like a chore. Eventually intercourse begins, and by about the time he’s ready to climax, you’re finally starting to get into it. Chances are, you’re not going achieve an amazing orgasm.
So what was wrong here? (1) There was no suspense, no surprise, and frankly, no romance. (2) The timing was terrible. By waiting until you’re already in bed to start thinking about sex, you’ve automatically placed sex as a low priority, and chances are you’re tired and turned off by the idea of sex. (3) The ambiance was all wrong: no romantic music, no moody lighting, no lingerie, no fresh lips, no fresh breath, no cologne, no perfume, no toys, and most of all, no fun.
I think we can do better!