Every woman has at least that one best friend they get lost in conversation with, literally. The conversation starts with the rude woman at the grocery store, and somehow ends up at the road trip you took 8 years ago. We love to complain about the present, reminisce about the past and talk about the future with our friends, filling in all the blanks and going over every detail. I always feel like talking with my girlfriends is better than a spa treatment, my little backyard getaway with a glass of wine in hand, after the children have gone to sleep. She understands my situation, she is the one who gives me the unbiased, sometimes harsh, truth I so desperately need. These conversations always flow so effortlessly, and I value that in my friendships. So why is it so difficult, even after all these years, to find a stimulating subject to discuss with my husband, outside of our day to day? He is, after all, my very best friend.
I have come to the realization that our friendship isn’t that of a typical one, it does come with strings attached. There are certain guidelines that must be followed to ensure a safe balance between friendship and marriage. Nevertheless, I really wanted him to be the person I am excited to talk to, excited to vent to, even for something as miniscule as the woman at the grocery store. I wanted him to be my getaway as he was when we were first married. Sounds easy, right? I wish it were that easy. This was definitely something I was determined to get back; and I worked damn hard to get it. Unfortunately, this isn’t something you can get back overnight, but here are 5 easy topics that have the potential of generating deeper more meaningful conversations with the possibility of getting lost in conversation with your spouse.
1. If you won the lottery, you would…
This one is always lots of fun to think about. My husband and I go into a lot of detail; we can spend the entire evening at dinner on this conversation alone. He talks about the house he would buy, filled with cars in 3 different garages, while I talk about each room in the house, the décor and the educational toys we’d buy for the children. He’ll talk about the boat he wants to buy and I’ll mention the trips to the lake we could take along with a picnic on Labor Day. This is a fantasy conversation, so the possibilities are endless. You may even learn some things about your spouse that you didn’t know before.
2. If you enjoy reading, read a book together or read the same book
You both can talk about the book, things you didn’t understand, things you liked, things you disliked, you wish this would have happened or that wouldn’t have happened. Talking about a book you loved or hated in detail with someone else allows you to see the book through their eyes. Have you ever heard the saying, no two people ever read the same book? It could be fun to see how your spouse interpreted the book.
3. Plan your next vacation
It can be in the near future or months, even years, away. We planned a road trip to California, and discussed all the places we wanted to stop, what we wanted to do at each stop and where we would be staying.
4. If you were trapped on a desert island, what three things would you bring?
We didn’t set rules or limits for this one. It’s fun to see what your spouse comes up with and why. The items we came up with ranged from necessities like food and water, to fun sexual things.
5. What are the top 3 things you have on your bucket list?
Compare your bucket list to your partner’s; you may find new items to add to your list. It’s a lot of fun to discuss what’s on their list and why they’ve added it. The conversation can last all night about one item on their list. Don’t have a bucket list? Even if you do, it might be fun to come up with items for the list together.