In the last article, I wrote about my experiment in avoiding orgasms. While hard to do at first, I discovered an increased sense of attachment to my wife and an overall excitement for sex that I hadn’t felt in a long time.
By the third night, my wife was beginning to feel exhausted, but I was still up and ready. Perhaps slightly out of a sense of duty, she accommodated me for the third night in a row. That being said, I helped her achieve orgasm every time, so by the end of each session, I knew she was glad we’d done it. On the first night it was psychologically and physiologically difficult to avoid orgasm. On the second night, it was physiologically harder but psychologically easier, as I was enjoying this game. On the third night, it wasn’t hard at all.
(1) I was mastering my body (trying this experiment can be a good exercise in overcoming premature ejaculation). (2) I was getting so much sensation out of this, that the tradeoff with orgasm was an easy choice for me to make. Sex was becoming a part of my daily routines, and yet it was seeming less routine than ever. It felt as if we were honeymooning again.
Of course, I couldn’t hold off forever. Just before I woke up on day four, my body said, “That’s enough messing around,” and I ejaculated during a spicy dream. While I might have felt a slight bit cheated, the sensations around the dream were awesome in themselves, and I was overall glad for it. Actually, at least in my experience, wet dreams have seldom if ever negatively influenced my sexual performance. In fact, the dream may have added to my feelings that day. Not only did I have three amazing nights stacked behind me but a imminent memory of blissful orgasm. Again I thought of my wife throughout the day.
When night four rolled around, you guessed it, I was ready for sex again. By this time, my wife, while still willing to accommodate me, insisted that I had to orgasm this time, as she could only take so much. The experience was no-less wonderful than on the nights before, and the long-anticipated orgasm was very fulfilling (for both of us).
With a little self-control, I’d turned around a humdrum, twice a week sex life to three days of anticipation, four nights of hot sex, and two great orgasms. My wife, on the other hand, got to enjoy twice as many orgasms as normal, so, with a bit of good sportsmanship, it was a great experience for her as well.
While on an ongoing basis, nightly sex and deferred orgasms can be too taxing to keep up, it’s certainly a worthy goal for whenever your relationship needs a pick-me-up. On other weeks, when my wife wasn’t feeling up for sex, I found that I could still be sexual with her for as long as I liked by rubbing against her, feeling her breasts, nibbling on her ear, etc. while we lay in bed. While she didn’t feeling as much as me, she still enjoyed the closeness during these times of subdued sexuality, and I still found these times fulfilling enough to keep me excited throughout each day and ready for more fun each night.
In conclusion, you don’t have to have daily sex to enjoy daily sexuality. And if you’re not enjoying daily (or frequent) sexuality, you’re missing out on a lot of potential fun. The healthiest relationships need lots of spice!