As we’ve talked about in many articles, a good sex life (and relationship in general) is all about communication. But this is easier said than done, especially during intimate moments, when verbal communication is far from what’s on the brain.
A frequent problem is that the man is ready for intercourse while the woman is still warming up. The inexperienced man may not know any better, and thinking his wife is feeling all the oohs and ahs that he is, he may not only cause her discomfort, maybe even pain, but he’ll certainly fail to bring her to orgasm with him.
Does this sound remotely familiar? If so, here’s a fool-proof solution that’s so simple, even the amygdala (lizard brain) that takes over during sex can understand it. Assign a number to each stage of sex. For example, 1 could mean light foreplay, 2 could mean hardcore foreplay, 3 could mean intercourse, and 4 could mean orgasm. As the woman is more often than not the mysterious one in the relationship when it comes to sex, she has the responsibility of communicating what number she’s ready for.
So if she says “one,” she would really be meaning, “Hey, baby, come play with me.” “Two” would mean, “take me, I’m yours!” “Three” would mean, “I’m wet and ready for more!” And “four” would mean, “I’ve got the flame and am the brink. Let it go!”
While communicating like this all the time may make sex feel robotic, it’s a great exercise for improving your communication.